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Lately, I have been flooded with inspiration; all different types, at all different times.  Currently, I do not have enough time in the day to be able to create all the content I would like but have a giant backlog to dig into when I am blessed with that opportunity. This post, however, came from a deep moment of clarity and inspiration I had this week on a very important subject:

Insecurity

I will preface this by saying that not everything I write or theorize is always mainstream.  I also, at times, give a glimpse into some of the more “raw” elements of myself purely in hopes to help and educate others who may be able to relate and identify with me.

In our ever-evolving world, there is one topic that is continually getting worse:

Insecurity.

We were all kids at some point in our lives.  Naked, vulnerable, authentic, and untouched; as a child freshly born from our mother’s womb.  Then a few years later, at a very young age, we are processing and conditioning our impressionable little brains, molding us into the people we are today.  During those times come parenting, teachers, and other influencers in our life that play a very important role in who we become.

Now, let me ask this question: Have you ever felt insecure? Honestly? Don’t let your ego give an instant guarded response here. Take a moment to honestly step back, reach into your real self, and ask yourself that hard question:

Have I ever felt insecure?

Look, it would be a flat out lie if I told you that I wasn’t insecure at times.  It would also be a flat out lie if you weren’t either. I am human, you are human, we all are human. We are purely a product of our conditions at a young age, then a product of post-adolescence choices. Personally, I struggled considerably with a family that was very unstable during a highly impressionable stage in my life.  My parents became divorced, after much confusion, I was in the middle, and why wouldn’t I develop a deep, dark insecurity when I was abandoned by my family at the age of 12? Whether my parents knew it or not, it made me feel unwanted, unloved, unlovable, and worst of all, alone. This initial traumatic experience led to many years of misunderstanding myself and being misunderstood by others. All the while I was trying to fill myself up with money, women, alcohol and anything to numb the real pain that I wasn’t strong enough to confront.

Here is where I am going with all of this and why:

Something cognitive psychology won’t teach you, and comes from the School of Life is that ALL of our biggest “weaknesses” end up becoming our GREATEST STRENGTHS.

Insecurity has traditionally been regarded by society as a bad thing. I fully agree that insecurity, if not dealt with properly, can lead to incredibly toxic behavior. However, I would argue that we are more susceptible to insecurity purely due to society, human evolution, improper parenting, drugs, crime, alcohol, and more fear and negativity than ever before.

As I said earlier, our weaknesses always become our strengths, and after over 10 years of personally studying insecurity, I have finally came to this conclusion…..

So, are you ready for the big revelation?

Here it is:

Insecurity goes hand in hand with serving others. Why? Simple.  Someone who has felt insecure for any number of reasons in their life develops a genuine compassion for others. When you are compassionate for others, you seek to help them so they don’t have to go through what you did.  You serve.

Insecurity has been misunderstood for far too many years.  Yes, it can be TOXIC if you let it control you.  However, if you control it, it is one of the greatest gifts that any human being can possibly possess simply because your deep sincerity and compassion drives you to excel at helping, serving, educating, and preventing others from going through the same heart aches and struggles you have.  The insecure person puts others first. A true leader puts others before himself. A true servant will feed to poor before they feed themselves.

Insecurity is a great gift from God. Use it.

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I hate fear. It is one of the worst and most toxic traits we humans have if not used properly.  Yes, it serves a purpose, but it should not be allowed to control your life.

There was a time and a place when fear was a necessity for survival. For example, when we were small tribes of cave people and there were really big threats such as Wooly Mammoths and Saber Tooth Tigers, then fear was VERY, VERY important.  Just think, you are a grunting, fire making Neanderthal and out of the corner of your eye you see a big angry Saber Tooth Tiger running towards you in seek of a meal…FEAR kicks in to fight or flight.   In some instances, running away might be your best decision.  In most though, standing up and protecting yourself and fighting or killing the tiger because if you don’t…YOU WILL DIE.  Knowing that it’s either you or him, FEAR is there to help you survive.

Today, however in 2009 we don’t have those same kinds of threats and fear becomes more of a debilitating trait than anything. Fight or flight, and Darwinism do serve their purpose.  The strong will survive and the weak do not.  The ones who do not fight, will not mate, thrive, and therefore survive and continue onto to make the next generation of stronger and better versions of you.

Outside of Lions and Tigers, how does that apply to the human race today? It means that “Fighting or Flighting” will be what makes you find your significant other, get that job you always wanted, achieve your goals and dreams you had since a little child.  To do any of these it may mean to conquer massive fears, and if used properly FEAR can serve you greatly!

FEAR will control you and hold you back, if you let it. Most humans get conditioned at an early age of when experiencing something new, different, or scary….to have the emotion of FEAR.  Generally the first response in that scenario may be to run and hide. But fear is there for a reason and its not there to tell you to not do something. It is actually telling you to DECIDE WHAT YOU WANT, prepare, take a step into the unknown, take a chance, go for it, stick up for yourself, protect yourself, or whatever.

Step into that feeling of fear rather than running away from it.

There is a great quote that has stuck with me for my life “ Become comfortable with being uncomfortable.” Being uncomfortable means growth.  Growth is good.  Confronting fears, and our own internal demons is necessary for growth in life and achieving our full potential.  Otherwise, you will be stuck in fear and mediocrity mode your entire live, and FEAR will control you.

Confronting fear is a different process for everyone.  For some it may take minutes, and for others may take a lifetime.  Since humans are the only animal with FREE WILL as long as we make a CHOICE to confront what we fear and fight it out, no matter what it takes…YOU WILL THRIVE.

Learning about other cultures, religions, ancient philosophers, and the world greatest minds and leaders doesn’t stop after graduating high school. It really has just begun for most, and is a continual journey and proceess.

From an objective viewpoint, there are many similarities to each of the 5 main schools of thought known and applied today.

Here are the “Top 5 Schools Of Thought” in today’s society with s short explanation about each:

1. Philosophy:
Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle were great Greek Philosophers during an era of deep thought and reflection. Philosophy in Greek translated is literally “love of wisdom”.

2. Psychology:
The academic and applied discipline involving the systematic, and often scientific, study of human/animal mental functions and behavior. Freud, Jung, and Wundt are some of the pioneers of psychology.

3. Religion:
The Bible is the most widely publicized book ever in history. Its parables of the creation of man, Jesus and his disciples, and his crucifixion are meant to give direction and faith to the followers of Christianity.

4. Astrology:
Astrologers believe that the movements and positions of celestial bodies either directly influence life on Earth or correspond to events experienced on a human scale. The Mayans and Egyptians are known to be highly advanced during a primitive time in astrology and the study of the stars.

5. Eastern Thought – Tao Te Ching:
Topics range from political advice for rulers to practical wisdom for people. The variety of interpretation is virtually limitless, not only for different people but for the same person over time. Laozi’s famous book is comprised of 81 short poems.

All of these schools of thought at their very core say the same fundamental message.  Depending on where you are in life, and how you are able to personally identify and relate to each is a very individual and intimate relationship and different for every everyone.

For me, at this point my life it is not so much what religion, philosophy, or school of thought one subscribes to. It is your own personal decision to choose which school of thought or maybe all to apply in life and no one can judge you for choosing one over the other.

The fact of the matter is, what is most important is that one applies as much of their own and others wisdom into their life as routinely as possible.

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Anyone who has read any of my writings or listened to me speak would know that a lot of what my message in business are very philosophically based which I believe is the foundation to anyone’s success. A strong psychology of ones self, and a healthy philosophy on life is the foundation that you need to become highly successful in any endeavor: business, relationships, family and just life in general!

There are many great example of this, but today I decided to do something that I normally wouldn’t do and use an excerpt from the Bible to best describe how important it is to have a solid foundation:

“Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash.” ~ Matthew 7:24-27

Now, take that passage for what its worth. For some of you who are not religious or Christian just take the important fundamental message – which is…you MUST have a solid foundation in life.  Having a solid foundation internally is what sets apart the winners from the losers, the successful from the failures, and building your foundation doesn’t come easy.

If you want to live a life of success and abundance then build or RE-build your foundation so strong so that you are prepared for anything and everything to happen in life. Because if you don’t, life will continually blow over your house and you will continually have to rebuild over and over again until you do the one most important thing in life….

Spend time building your sound foundation.

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What I am going to discuss, explain, and break down today is why it’s so common in our society for other people to try to bring others down. It’s a real shame quite frankly, because so many would rather see people fail, will contribute to ensuring their failure just so it makes themselves look and feel better, and its sickening – but feel better about themselves afterword by hurting other people. Why do you think so many people like to read People Magazine or watch celebrities rise and fall to fame? Because it allows the meaningless life of their own to not look so bad, and to backward rationalize their own behaviors and choices.

This competitive nature was fine when we were all cave people and the one who was on top would eat the most, have the most women and children and life a life of caveman luxury.  Yes, this “alpha” nature still is inside our genetic makeup and insticit, however because humans have evolved from a grunting, wooly mammoth killing caveman into sophisticated, thought provoking, intelligent, achieving creatures things are different.

Its interesting how many people like to talk behind other peoples backs trying to bring them down to make themselves feel better.  Just think for a second, especially if you are a woman – how much of your time whether it be alone or with other people is spent talking or thinking badly about others?  I would venture to state that for the average person its a lot of the time. Most people today are miserable and don’t even know it.  Deep down inside they are sad, lonely, unfulfilled, alone, depressed, and miserable. So instead of confronting or addressing those very scary issues within themselves they project outwardly by attempting to try make others feel worse about themselves so they don’t have to feel their own hurt alone.  It’s quite fascinating to watch and observe if you are able to recognize this and are coming from a place of true intrinsic confidence, happiness, and abundance.

However, its an absolute travesty that people today who could be using their talents and abilities for good CHOOSE to be shallow, condescending, conceded, and have hate and anger on their hearts when it’s just as easy to be happy, have abundance, joyous, peaceful, helpful, loving thoughts and actions.  Its really a war out there and it’s the Good vs. Bad battle field that has been going on since the creation of man.  These people supplicate to mediocrity by overeating, lacking exercise, settling with their mate or life partner who is less than what they want, they settle with their job, and their entire life overall most of the times never ever really knowing. Humans are CAPABLE OF ANYTHING they put their mind to, although most will take the easy route by not applying themselves fully and try to bring others down to their level of misery. Negativity, misery, and criticizing others is just the tip of the iceberg for these takers in life.

Sure, these people may have a decent or even in society’s mind “a great job”, they may look happy externally from the outside with their spouse, or partner, they may say things are great and think life is good because they can pay their bills, have some friends, and may even think they will or are making a difference and will live a legacy behind to be remembered.  But the thing is…. these people deep down, under all of the layers of conditioning, suppression and their own nievetivity are sad, lonely, little people. So instead of looking inside, they focus on the outside and others. They hurt people to feel better themselves, they attack others because of their own insecurities and jealously (which most of the time they don’t even know why they are doing it, and cant recognize or place exactly what feeling it is they are feeling threatened by); as they attempt to bring you down.  The ONLY THING that wakes these people up is some sort of major trauma – nearing their own death or near death experience, loss of everything, major life changing experience, etc or the CHOICE to make something out of their lives.

But…. this is very important…. THERE IS HOPE!

There are a few select individuals, a very small percentage of people in the world who are not this way. They CHOOSE TO LIFE lives of meaning and fulfillment, they inspire others and lift others up, they are leaders, they are the people who really run the world, they are achieves, they don’t settle for 2nd best, they believe in themselves and others, they strive for excellence, and at some point in their life made the CHOICE to be GOOD not bad and ANYONE has the ability to CHOOSE to live thier life this way!

We have all heard of the some of the original pioneers in modern day psychology such as Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud as well as legendary philosophers LaoTzu, Aristotle, and Socrates. However, major shifts are starting to happen in both fields that are very exciting.

In the book “Plato Not Prozac” written by Lou Marinoff, PhD, Lou talks much about a tipping point that is happening in the world of psychology and philosophy. A relatively new field called “Philosophical Counseling” is gaining momentum.

Marinoff, who is the founding president on American Philosophical Practitioners Association, says that his clients don’t need to be seen for 5 years going on and on talking about their past or their parents.  Most only need to be seen once, or a few times, and the longest he has had to see a client is one year. Very different than the more traditional cognitive or developmental psychology. People who are looking for answers in their life are learning the teachings of philosophers not psychology.

We don’t need to look at our past and dissect why things happened. It happened. Good for it. What you CAN change, which is more philosophically based is THE FUTURE.