Being honest with ourselves is no easy task.  Being honest about our bad habits, negative thoughts, how we look, and being brutally honest with others may be the hardest of all.

So why do we not tell others EXACTLY how we feel about them? Why do most humans hold back on being 100% candid with others?  Why are we not always honest of ourselves? Fear of Criticism.

Fear of criticism is a terrible and limiting belief because it prevents you from achieving and being your true potential.  FEAR holds you back from taking that risk of asking that special person out you have always wanted because you are afraid of they what they might say in return.  FEAR prevents you from diving into the unknowns in your life because that is scary.

So your probably thinking why am I writing about honesty and fear?

The answer to conquering all fear is honesty.  Be honest with yourself.  Be honest with others.  Fear is so toxic, and serves no real good use other than maybe if you were being chased by a big angry bear. Fear is a “signal” that is trying to tell you something…. most of the time, it’s telling you “honestly” what you need to do.  Maybe you need to prepare more for that big speech and that is what fear is signaling. Maybe you need to totally be yourself and let your guard down around others, and the fear that comes up when you talk with someone new is a “signal” to be more honest and just be yourself.

In any event, there has NEVER been anything wrong with being honest. Be honest to someone if they are not being kind to you. Be honest with what you feel you are worth. Be honest with your boss that you are not being valued enough, and just watch how people will respond.

Our society, bad parenting, and the media have conditioned humans to not be true to themselves. And let me tell you something. When you are honest will people, really honest, real, vulnerable, and yourself – THEY CANNOT HELP BUT TO SEE THAT IN THEMSELVES ALSO AND THERE IS A DEEP, DEEP, EMOTIONAL CONNECTION.

Most people cover up who they really are. Most people have feelings of being scared, lonely, fearful, hurt, angry, etc. also and if you show these emotions to others they will be able to connect to you on a deep emotional level.

Connectedness is what makes humans, humans. Be honest.

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What is leadership?? What does it mean to be honest?? What does it mean to be yourself?? These are important questions that a person needs to ask themselves in life.

True leadership comes down to strength, integrity, brutal honesty, and serving others not serving yourself. Sometimes that honesty or conviction is not what others want to hear and can scare or hurt them. However, someone who is true to themselves and honest with others and have other peoples best intention in mind are true signs of the highest and best type of leadership there is. Humans have been conditioned by society, the media, and their ego to think otherwise. However I predict there is going to a big shift in people which has already begun to happen.

There are three types of leaders. The lowest on the scale are people who are truly gifted people and are highly intelligent who CHOOSE to use their talents for evil and manipulate others for the pure benefit of themselves. Good examples of this would be Adolf Hitler, or locally here in Minnesota Tom Petters. It’s unfortunate that these people decide to use their gifts this way, but unfortunately it happens every day.

Next you have leaders who are great speakers who can convey messages to people that resonates with them on a deep emotional level. Yet, deep down, these leaders are just in it for themselves and will say anything to anyone if it means the personal betterment of themselves. A great example of this type of leader and since we will be swearing into office this type of person is a few weeks is Barrack Obama. Here is a guy who has an ability to speak eloquently to the masses and people believe in purely the words that come out of his mouth, not the action that has, should, or could come from it. I call this type of leader the “lamp leader”. These leaders “glow green” if you will and are very charismatic but there is still something missing.

Lastly, there is servant leadership. Servant leaders are the types of leaders that people follow into battle knowing they are going to die. Servant leadership is the hardest, rarest, and the strongest because it is the most authentic and it involves putting other people first before yourself. They always have others best interest in mind while also being incredibly forward thinking in their thoughts. These leaders are not always going to be liked by people because there is no sugar coating when it comes to telling it like it is. They are honest, even though at times it can be very hard and not at all what people want to hear. But, they stand tall and stick to their convictions and do not waver one inch, yet being able to fully admit when they are wrong. During our entire history there have only been a very select group on individuals that fall under this category and some examples would be Jesus, Mother Theresa, and Abraham Lincoln.

Remember to put others before yourself, be honest, and most of all be of integrity.